Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
