yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
