i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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