that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
