imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I pour the whiskey from now on
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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