When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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