i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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