garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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