Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
