Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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