3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
