Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
