I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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