i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
