what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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