so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
