He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
