When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
