Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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