big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Dear god my vagina.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
