But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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