the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
