if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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