I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
