You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
