God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
