dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
