reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
