Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
