I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
should my penis look like a turkey
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
