i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
