you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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