yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
