I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
