So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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