I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
