how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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