once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It was confusing and full of hummus
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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