Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
