Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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