He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
