Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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