WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
