question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
