i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
