i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
