actually, I'm a sock model
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
