Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
