I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
