I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
