Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
