And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
