My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
