I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
