community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Green mimosas i think yes
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
