just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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