I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
