I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We got so high we made milksteak
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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