Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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