Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
