If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
