you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
